


i always make such expensive mistakes

by zanthetran



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanthetran/pseuds/zanthetran
Summary: "i’m gonna make a movie where two normal ladies fall in love. everything’s chill, no age gap, they’re both out of the closet, their families love them, everything’s fine. the catch is that one lady has a cat and the other lady never figured out what the cat’s name was cause the Owner Lesbian ALWAYS uses a dumb nickname and now it’s been three years and they’re getting married and it’s too late to just ask"or the one where lena is a useless gay with Anxiety
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 22
Kudos: 461





	i always make such expensive mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> hi all it me again. based on a Tumblr post here: zanthetran.tumblr.com/post/617126232134418432/im-gonna-make-a-movie-where-two-normal-ladies
> 
> title is from *throws dart* wilson (expensive mistakes) by *spins wheel* fall out boy
> 
> Follow me on tumblr/twitter @zanthetran to hear my Inside Scoops

Lena knows everything about Kara.

She knows her sisters name and the name of the girl her sister had a crush on in high school and the names of the girls _Kara_ had crushes on in high school and the way she likes her coffee and how she likes to relax on days off from Supergirl Business and which pizza place is her favorite (“It’s the _sauce_ , Lena. The sauce.”) and how many phones she breaks on a monthly basis.

Listen, she knows everything about Kara. They’re not a secretive couple. They don’t keep things from each other. They talk about anything and everything, and Lena is very good at remembering facts Kara has told her about her Earth and Krypton childhood.

She knows everything about Kara except for what her fucking cat’s name is.

She’s sure Kara has told her on some occasion, probably the first time Lena ever came over, and she knows it’s on the tip of her tongue, but she can’t, for the life of her, remember the dumb cats name. And Kara is absolutely no help in dropping the name on a regular basis, as she only calls the cat pet-names like ‘boopy’ and ‘hot tater tot’ and ‘sweet potato’, and at one point - for almost two months - Lena actually thought the cat’s real name was chicken nugget (it’s not).

(Other pet names include: stinky, mr. paws, daddy long legs, mr. stinky, N-stink*, sweet baby, breadcrumb, himbo)

And it’s never _really_ been a problem before as Lena just resorted to calling him The Cat, and Kara thought it was her nickname for the cat, but god help her it was because she doesn’t know the stupid cats name and at this point it’s far too late to ask.

(She can imagine the conversation.

“Hey Kara, I know we’ve been dating for three years and about to get married in less than a month, but what is your cat’s name because I seem to have forgotten.”

No.)

So she just, goes on, not knowing this cat’s name and just calling him The Cat, and it’s fine, they’re good, Lena doesn’t need to know the cats name anyways and Kara will never find out.

Except the stupid cat is so important to her fiancée. So important that Kara wants him to be the ring bearer at the wedding (which Lena has to admit is kind of cute) and even bought him a little harness that will hold their rings.

Kara turns her phone around so Lena can see it from the other side of the island. “It’ll look so cute on him!”

“That it will,” Lena chuckles. And whatever malevolent god possessed her to say the next few words was getting a thorough talking to when Lena died. “We should get him a fancy collar with his name on it.”

As soon as the words are out of her mouth, Lena knows something is about to go wrong. Something terrible that will change their relationship forever. And then Kara says it aloud.

“That would be great! Will you get it tomorrow? I have to meet up with a lead for an article that Snapper is demanding be turned in by Saturday.”

Lena nods reluctantly, trying like hell to think of a reason she won’t be able to get The Cat’s collar tomorrow that isn’t ‘I have no idea what the cat’s actual name is and I can’t put ‘little corndog’ on the collar’, but alas, the one time she needs her genius brain to think of something, it can’t. And so she nods again and says, “send me the address for the pet store” and tries to remember what the stupid fucking cat’s name was.

And Kara walks around the island and wraps her arms around Lena and kisses her cheek and Lena can’t bring herself to care about the cat’s mysterious name when she has Kara right there.

* * *

Lena spends the entire day trying to remember the cat’s name. She even called Jess into her office and asked, nonchalantly, if she’d ever mentioned Kara’s cat, and Jess said no and Lena dismissed her. She figures she could ask Alex, but Alex would definitely tell Kara and that would defeat the whole purpose of going to Alex in the first place. Maybe she could ask James? But he might also tell Kara. And Winn isn’t even an option as he would probably tell Kara on accident later on, and Lena couldn’t have that.

Instead of admitting defeat, however, Lena reaches out to her soon-to-be wife, white flag (almost) raised.

 _What name would you like on the collar?_ She types, then erases. _What should I have them put on the collar?_ She sends.

She watches her phone laying face up on her desk and taps her fingers on the tabletop idly. The response comes a few minutes later.

 _His name, of course_ followed by a laughing emoji and close to 45 different variations of hearts. Lena sends one back and puts her phone face down on the desk.

Her wife is utterly unhelpful.

* * *

“What would you like the collar to say?”

Lena’s silent for a moment. She’s going to have to admit to her almost-wife (and this underpaid, teenager store clerk) that she doesn’t know the name of her cat.

Instead, she says “never mind,” to the shop clerk and walks out.

* * *

“Ms Luthor, I have the contracts here for you to sign,” Jess says as greeting to Lena the next morning. Lena takes the folder from the secretary, thanks her, and walks into her office.

The documents are fairly straightforward and within the hour Lena has the documents signed, faxed, and essentials being handed over to her driver at the moment.

The rest of the day goes by like slogging through mud, and by the time she gets to a stopping point she’s exhausted and her stomach has been growling incessantly for the past hour.

She texts Kara that she’s going to pick up food on the way home and Kara sends approximately 78 various heart emojis in reply.

* * *

Even with stopping on the way home, Lena gets back before Kara and goes to work setting out the food on the coffee table as The Cat prowls around her ankles. She gives in and gives him way too many treats, but he’s already happily crunching before she can put any back in the bag so she just leaves it.

 _His mother eats worse_ , she thinks. _Actually, his mother might eat these cat treats._

Kara opens the door with flourish and says, in a comically deep voice, “Honey, I’m hoooome!” then spots The Cat eating treats in the kitchen and happily calls, “Mr Potato Head!” And that is _definitely not_ his name because Lena would’ve remembered that one.

She reaches Lena first and wraps her in a hug, chin resting on her shoulder and letting out a long, tired sigh, like being in Lena’s arms was the only place she could relax.

For Lena, it was.

“How was work?” Lena mumbles into Kara’s chest.

Kara laughs and lets the smaller woman go, stepping around her and picking The Cat up from the floor. He immediately starts purring and Lena suddenly can’t spot a difference between the lovey cat and her fiancée.

“Same as usual. Snapper is riding my ass - oh! Baby ears in the room, sorry nugget - my _butt_ to get this article in by Saturday.”

“What’s the article about?” Lena inquires as they go to the couch and sit down. Kara lets the cat go on the floor before reaching forward and grabbing a container of pot stickers and a pair of chopsticks.

“Some up-and-coming rich dude. He kept eyeing me during the interview,” Kara mimed puking before taking a big bite of pot sticker. “He’s totally boring but Snapper said I’m not allowed to do pieces on you anymore since I’ve been submitting one every week,” she says between the food in her mouth. “I mean, is it _my_ fault my almost-wife is gorgeous and amazing and talented and a genius?”

Lena can’t stop the blush that spreads to her cheeks. She takes another bite of noodles from the container.

“Oh! Anyways, did you get that collar made for the love of my life?”

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Kara starts to protest but Lena laughs. “I’m joking, Kara. But yes, I got it taken care of.” The lie comes easily and sets Lena on edge.

Kara beams. “He’s gonna look so cute walking down the aisle with our super fancy rings.”

* * *

And then it just doesn’t come up again until days before the wedding, and Lena has been trying to get this cats name out of Kara for the past _month_ to no avail.

(“Hey Kara, what do you call the cat again?”

“Mr. nugget butt?”

“No, the other one,”

“Himbo?”

“No, the one that sounds like his name,”

Kara thinks for a minute then her face lights up. “Oh! Hashbrown!”

Lena almost punches her indestructible wife in her indestructible face.)

The clues Kara had helpfully given (that she didn’t even realize she was giving) were not helpful in the slightest. She couldn’t think of a name that sort of resembled ‘hashbrown’ and the cat was _black_ so it wasn’t like it’s name was brownie or something ( _then again, it totally could be_ , Lena thought).

It was exhausting to keep up the charade of knowing someone’s cats name when you have _no idea what it actually is._ Lena finally gives one last shot, two days before the wedding. She searches through Kara’s documents to try and find an adoption certificate with the stupid cat’s name on it, and that’s where Kara finds her when she comes home early from work.

Lena is crouched over the safe in the bedroom and sorting through legal documents. Kara stops in the doorway, glasses in her hand and shirt half unbuttoned, undershirt peeking out the top.

“Uh, Lena? What are you doing?”

Lena jumps so high she hits her head on the shelf above her and knocks over a little supergirl figurine, then straightens and turns to a (slightly suspicious) Kara, legal documents still in hand.

“Oh! Uh, um, nothing. Just, sorting your paperwork,” Lena sputters out.

Kara looks to the legs documents in her hand, then to the open safe in front of her, then back to Lena.

“Are you sure? Cause it doesn’t look like that,” she says.

Lena deflates immediately. She drops the papers back into the safe and shuts it closed. When she turns to Kara she almost has tears in her eyes and Kara immediately softens and pulls her close.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kara asks softly.

Lena takes a deep breath, steeling herself and pulling away from Kara. She looks slightly above Kara’s head, avoiding eye contact as she says the next words.

“I don’t remember your cats name.”

Kara looks confused, then understanding washes over her face and she laughs, loudly. She bends over laughing, holding her stomach as Lena stands there, statue still.

“Well I’m glad you think it’s funny,” Lena says coldly, slightly annoyed at her fiancées reaction.

Kara straightens up and wipes a tear from her eye. “Lena, my cats name is Hercules.”

Lena’s mouth drops open. _That’s_ what it was! Hercules! Because that was Kara’s favorite Disney movie after she arrived on Earth!

Lena puts a hand to her forehead. “Oh my god,”

Kara laughs again and pulls Lena close to her, her breath warm on Lena’s neck and arms wrapped strong and tight around her.

“So does that mean you didn’t get the fancy collar for him?”

Lena is blushing when they pull away once more. She looks down at her socked feet, slightly embarrassed now.

“Well, technically yes. I bought the pet store.”

Kara’s mouth gapes open and closed like a fish. Her eyes widen as she realizes, then she laughs again and swats at Lena’s arm.

“You bought the _entire pet store_?”

Lena nods.

“Because you didn’t know my cats name,”

Lena nods again.

“I have someone on speed dial that can make the collar in under an hour,” Lena says.

Kara silently studies her wife with a smile on her face, then pulls Lena into a full hug, wrapping Lena’s arms around her body herself.

“I love you, you know that?” Kara laughs into her hair. Lena nods, head resting against Kara’s shoulder and eyes closing as she relished in the warmth and comfort it brings.


End file.
